I received this video anonymously via a spoofed facebook messenger account early Thursday morning: "Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun" by the Beastie Boys.
I've always been a fan of the Beastie Boys, but in this context, this kinda resembles a fresh threat from Tina's childish neighborhood psychopath.
Since he has threatened and harassed me before, possesses a stockpile of firearms, has been charged with gun crimes and exhibits antisocial behaviors, I'm thinking it's time I document all of this with law enforcement.
Look, homes... The only person you have to be angry at is yourself. Why don't you give being a decent person a try for a while? Maybe if you hadn't betrayed your family and abused your friendships, you wouldn't be illin' right now.
Friday, August 30, 2019
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
Regression on the Path to Healing
I was nervous about moving in with Tina after selling my Mom's house. I'd be dependent on her and her mother. I asked Tina several times if she was sure about this arrangement. She continually assured me that it was the best course of action for us, for now - until we began the hunt for our more permanent marital home. I had to make that leap of faith. I was fully committed to our future, together.
Tina kept reminding me to have my mail forwarded to the apartment in Farmington. She figured out what items from my Mom's house would be useful there, and we moved those things in.
It was when I had made myself the most vulnerable, dependent on Tina for a home that she showed me her most blatant betrayal. I'd provided a kitchen full of groceries, gave her mom a check for more than half the rent for the month and moved all of my worldly possessions to Farmington. No sooner than I had my mail forwarded was I forced to flee the new living arrangement. I found myself homeless and despondent. My only immediate option was a motel, but at $150 a night, it wasn't a practical long-term solution. I eventually moved into an extended stay motel, which was moderately more affordable, but I was hemorrhaging money.
When Tina found out how much I was spending on motels, she tried to convince me that I shouldn't have moved out. "My mom could have used that money," she said. "It's not like we kicked you out."
I was only slightly stunned.
"Oh, yes! I should have paid your mom to stay with my ex-girlfriend while she runs around with other guys - for what? Another week, was it?"
The day I moved out of the apartment, Tina and Maura announced to me that they were moving to Colorado in less than two weeks! That came as more than a surprise. As it turned out, they didn't move for a few more months, but regardless, there was no way I was staying under those circumstances and my sensibilities were duly offended that my money was Tina's only motivation for wanting me to come back.
While living out of bags in a rundown motel, my future in ashes behind me, I was too depressed to work much. The complexity of my political work was too much for my bleeding brain to handle at all, so I completely avoided that for months (costing me thousands in income). My part-time driving job was more manageable, since it didn't require much of my over-taxed brain power, but I only went to work a couple days a week and eventually stopped even that much. I realized I needed to stabilize my living situation before I could start working on stabilizing my mental health and life in general.
Tina kept reminding me to have my mail forwarded to the apartment in Farmington. She figured out what items from my Mom's house would be useful there, and we moved those things in.
It was when I had made myself the most vulnerable, dependent on Tina for a home that she showed me her most blatant betrayal. I'd provided a kitchen full of groceries, gave her mom a check for more than half the rent for the month and moved all of my worldly possessions to Farmington. No sooner than I had my mail forwarded was I forced to flee the new living arrangement. I found myself homeless and despondent. My only immediate option was a motel, but at $150 a night, it wasn't a practical long-term solution. I eventually moved into an extended stay motel, which was moderately more affordable, but I was hemorrhaging money.
When Tina found out how much I was spending on motels, she tried to convince me that I shouldn't have moved out. "My mom could have used that money," she said. "It's not like we kicked you out."
I was only slightly stunned.
"Oh, yes! I should have paid your mom to stay with my ex-girlfriend while she runs around with other guys - for what? Another week, was it?"
The day I moved out of the apartment, Tina and Maura announced to me that they were moving to Colorado in less than two weeks! That came as more than a surprise. As it turned out, they didn't move for a few more months, but regardless, there was no way I was staying under those circumstances and my sensibilities were duly offended that my money was Tina's only motivation for wanting me to come back.
While living out of bags in a rundown motel, my future in ashes behind me, I was too depressed to work much. The complexity of my political work was too much for my bleeding brain to handle at all, so I completely avoided that for months (costing me thousands in income). My part-time driving job was more manageable, since it didn't require much of my over-taxed brain power, but I only went to work a couple days a week and eventually stopped even that much. I realized I needed to stabilize my living situation before I could start working on stabilizing my mental health and life in general.
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